How nervous stomach rewrites your life

'); } While having a nervous stomach isn't a funny thing, it was always funny for my friends how I learned to measure distances - by being longer or shorter than it takes me from the moment I feel the urge to go to toilet until the moment I can't take it any more :) :(

I called it sh*t-o-meter. (I live in Europe where metric system is being used).

During years I had issues with IBS, several practices developed inside my head, all of them being practically unconscious:

• when I move to some new place (town, street address etc.), I start looking for safe spots. These include acceptable toilets with enough privacy that can make me feel comfortable.
• automatic mapping of routes between safe spots, determining the quickest ones. In case I need them, right?!
• once first two points are covered, I relax a little bit and start widening the circle. 

Most of my walks are done alone. I'm not very opened for wide circles of friends, at least not for some casual walking around town and enjoying. That way, if I'm in trouble, I don't have to fight with burden of explaining why do I need to run, why am I quiet all of the sudden and so on. If you have a nervous stomach, you'll probably understand. I refused so many parties because I can't stand the thought of being inside toiled with a queue of people waiting outside. Most of people thought I'm an a*s. Who would have thought that IBS can form other people's opinion about me?

Another funny thing about my condition: in most cases, it disappears when I'm drunk. No matter how badly alcohol influences stomach and digestion, when I'm drunk there isn't anyone more relaxed than I am. I'm like a stoned panda. Even if something happens, it's so much easy to cope with... Maybe I should start heavy drinking and make a new blog, one that would start with 'My name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic.'

Do you have stomach problems? Butterflies in your stomach? Nervous stomach? If so, please write something about it as a comment and I'll be glad to publish it.